Hollywood aka Remake Central?

Updated: Aug 15, 2018

Hollywood has run out of ideas for great movies. They've run out of even good movies. The reason why...they're looking in all the wrong places.

That is why we're seeing so many disappointing remakes of classics that should have been left alone. Lorraine Hansberry's A Raisin in the Sun was one. I was so enraged at the disappointing performances of the 2008 version, that I threw a rock through my 60 inch Flat Screen. The sparks ignited a can of paint thinner, that I had sitting on the floor, which then exploded and burned down my house. Sorry...a new book idea filtered into my reality.

If I see one more episode of Star Wars, Resident Evil, Mission Impossible, or Superman, I'm going to gouge my eyeballs out with a spoon. There has to come a point where a producer says, "We've milked this cow so much that the tit looks like a dried up raisin. One more sequel will just be an announcement of how desperate we are to sell junk to the public."

Believe me, I'm not condemning all remakes. There have been a few that, when they were updated, were awesome. The 1979 Star Trek The Motion Picture was one. The visual effects were superb and probably why it won an Oscar and Golden Globe nominations, 11 Saturn Awards and nominations, and a host of others. Mighty Joe Young was another one. King Kong 2005 was well done, 2017 version I didn't like. But that's just me.

Then there are remakes where Hollywood tries to force a square peg into a round hole. And we buy the tickets only to be sorely disappointed. This is probably why Sharknado is so popular. We watch this movie over and over again, because we know we're going to get what we're paying for. Stupidity that is so absurd it has you busting a gut laughing. I have a friend, who knows how busy I am with writing and other commitments, called me from 2000 miles away to ask me if I knew there was another Sharknado movie airing. I must have asked her "when" 15 times before she could answer lol.

I'm no movie critic. I just like what I like, and know what I see. I believe Hollywood is draining their intellectual swamp. Their stable of writers are dying off, or have become too old to come up with fresh ideas. This is probably why indie films are doing so well. They have a pool of fresh, exciting, and new ideas that the Dinosaur Hollywood camp (like traditional publishers) haven't explored.

It's gotten to the point that when I watch movies now, I'm more interested in seeing what auto maker's cars are getting plugged, or what soda or beer label is being shoved into my subconscious.

I'm so tired of seeing cops go through doors with their weapons extended way out in front, so the bad guy can grab it, and then fight with the cop. In reality, if a cop was stupid enough to go through a door like that, the bad guy would grab the cops gun with one hand, and shoot him in the face with his other hand.

I watched some super duper elite squad movie where a team of 8 members took on a battalion of bad guys. They said "copy that" 3,914 times, dodged 2 million rounds of bullets, and of

course the only black member of the team got killed. Of course you think I'm just being paranoid but the next time you watch a movie where there is one or two black people in the group, I guarantee you that one or all of them will be killed. The only black man not killed in a movie was Sir Sydney Poitier. Oh and Morgan Freeman was killed but he came back as God in Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty so it doesn't count lol.

I just went to see the Equalizer 2 because I was bored and liked Equalizer 1. The best part of the movie was the yuppies getting the crap kicked out of them. I liked that part because they reminded me of the assholes that almost make you wreck because they're driving 600 hp cars they can't freaking handle. Of course I knew his old partner was guilty because I had a flashback of the movie "Taken" when Liam Neeson shoots Olivier Rabourdin's wife in the shoulder.

This is probably why I will always opt in to watching South Park when the Oscars are on.

The actors and actresses probably should receive those awards for performing in such poor movies.

We all know it's not the actor/actress that makes the movie great, it's the story that makes the actor/actress and movie great.

To the Indie nation, keep writing and putting out the awesome books that you're doing.

Maybe Hollywood will get the message and stop beating that dead horse.

Jerrimiah Stonecastle

Stonecastle Publications

"Throwing Stones at a Glass House"

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